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Ahoy; The Most Dangerous sex Position Revealed

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
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https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/mens-health/a/26066461/the-most-dangerous-sex-position-revealed/

Love is a battlefield and sometimes people get hurt. Minimise the casualties by avoiding this position. It may have been relegated to the butt of sitcom jokes and the go-to move for rookies but the missionary position does have one advantage: it will keep you out of the emergency room. A new study claims the woman on top position – or “cowgirl” for those with a penchant for saddles – is responsible for half of all penile fractures in the bedroom. Doggy-style is second on the list, accounting for 29 per cent of emergency penile admissions. The results were collated by looking at patient admissions at three Brazilian A&E units with suspected "penile fractures" over a 13 year period and published in the Advances in Urology journal.

The research concluded: "Our study supports the fact that sexual intercourse with 'woman on top' is the potentially riskiest sexual position related to penile fracture. "Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis. "On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it."

Confusingly, some men waited up to six hours before seeking medical help, although a full 50 per cent heard an audible cracking sound during sex. Of the 44 cases, 42 of the cases were confirmed by doctors. 28 fractures were sustained during heterosexual sex, four during homosexual sex, six after “penis manipulation” and four in circumstances which remain unclear. Most cases of penile fracture - ruptures of the blood-filled tubes in your erection - occur from very vigorous sex, explains Dr Justin Lehmiller, who teaches human sexuality and psychology at Harvard University. Like an elbow or knee, your erect penis can be hyper-extended if you put too much or too frequent downward pressure on the shaft, finds a study from the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF). Over time, this hyper-extension can lead to peyronie’s disease - a buildup of plaques that causes a penis to bend while erect. Missionary position isn’t completely safe, though: it accounted for 21 per cent of admissions.
 
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Sir Cruiser

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https://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/mens-health/a/26066461/the-most-dangerous-sex-position-revealed/

Love is a battlefield and sometimes people get hurt. Minimise the casualties by avoiding this position. It may have been relegated to the butt of sitcom jokes and the go-to move for rookies but the missionary position does have one advantage: it will keep you out of the emergency room. A new study claims the woman on top position – or “cowgirl” for those with a penchant for saddles – is responsible for half of all penile fractures in the bedroom. Doggy-style is second on the list, accounting for 29 per cent of emergency penile admissions. The results were collated by looking at patient admissions at three Brazilian A&E units with suspected "penile fractures" over a 13 year period and published in the Advances in Urology journal.

The research concluded: "Our study supports the fact that sexual intercourse with 'woman on top' is the potentially riskiest sexual position related to penile fracture. "Our hypothesis is that when woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration, because the harm is usually minor in woman with no pain but major in the penis. "On the contrary, when the man is controlling the movement, he has better chances of stopping the penetration energy in response to the pain related to the penis harm, minimising it."

Confusingly, some men waited up to six hours before seeking medical help, although a full 50 per cent heard an audible cracking sound during sex. Of the 44 cases, 42 of the cases were confirmed by doctors. 28 fractures were sustained during heterosexual sex, four during homosexual sex, six after “penis manipulation” and four in circumstances which remain unclear. Most cases of penile fracture - ruptures of the blood-filled tubes in your erection - occur from very vigorous sex, explains Dr Justin Lehmiller, who teaches human sexuality and psychology at Harvard University. Like an elbow or knee, your erect penis can be hyper-extended if you put too much or too frequent downward pressure on the shaft, finds a study from the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF). Over time, this hyper-extension can lead to peyronie’s disease - a buildup of plaques that causes a penis to bend while erect. Missionary position isn’t completely safe, though: it accounted for 21 per cent of admissions.
So letting women be in charge seems to be the wrong way to go ;)
 
L

Lord Spikey

So letting women be in charge seems to be the wrong way to go ;)

It's always the wrong way to go, Sir Cruiser.

Oh, there seems to be a long line of armed women outside my office door with angry looks on their faces.

Woops; did i say something wrong? That's not like me
 

Sir Cruiser

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It's always the wrong way to go, Sir Cruiser.

Oh, there seems to be a long line of armed women outside my office door with angry looks on their faces.

Woops; did i say something wrong? That's not like me
Don't worry Lord Spikey, us waistys will stick together
 

figjam

Gold Member
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London bridge.jpg

How To Do 'Sydney Harbour Bridge'

The man steps over the woman's leg, holding the other leg up, and enters the woman while she dangles in the air, being held up by only the strength of her stronger arm, G.I.-Jane-style.

The man holds the woman as she holds on for dear life.

What Could Go Wrong:

The amount of weight that would be leaning on the man's left arm in this position would not only drag him down, but would probably strain/pull any of his muscles if this position were attempted for more than about a minute. Kind of like when you carry all the groceries in one hand and decide to brave it until you get to the kitchen... only during sex.

Also, that is not an optimal angle for a man to comfortably wield something that is meant to be parallel to the ground. The man's penis, and any muscles involved in this position, could be tugged in the wrong direction (left or right) if the woman's super-strong arm decided to give out at any point, bending the penis to the shape of a horseshoe or picture-frame-corner.
 
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