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Your funniest moment at a massage parlour or brothel

Timboh66

Timboh66

Well-Known Member
Points
23
I went to Happy Haven in 1991 or 1992 with a mate, who waited for me while I was entertained by one of the two bored ladies.
It was ok.
The funny bit was when I went out and started giving shit to my mate.
He laughed and said " You've had a root, now you think you're ten foot tall ! ".
 
markeys

markeys

Foundation Member
Points
6
I walked into happy haven about 25yrs ago,
looked around and asked do you have any younger ladies here, they all looked like grannys,
well more like worn out granny hookers, heavy makeup, deep wrinkles, fag hanging out the mouth,
but complete in sexy lingerie.
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
markeys said:
I walked into happy haven about 25yrs ago,
looked around and asked do you have any younger ladies here, they all looked like grannys,
well more like worn out granny hookers, heavy makeup, deep wrinkles, fag hanging out the mouth,
but complete in sexy lingerie.
Click to expand...
Ah so you went there before it went downhill I see
 
retnub

retnub

You only live once ,make the most of it :)
Silver Member
Points
1
had a massage in a new massage shop in joondalup about a year ago it was ok massage,but the girl at front desk was not bad but got some granny 50 plus i reckon anyway got the massage ,was asked for extras so thought whats on offer from granny haha :) she offered HJ, Topless ,Bj so i thought fuck it let granny earn a dollar and let her suck me off topless for a laugh,BJ was nothing special ,but the protection was .it was a surgical glove :) yes a glove for fuck sake, this place is long gone thank God :)
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
retnub said:
had a massage in a new massage shop in joondalup about a year ago it was ok massage,but the girl at front desk was not bad but got some granny 50 plus i reckon anyway got the massage ,was asked for extras so thought whats on offer from granny haha :) she offered HJ, Topless ,Bj so i thought f**k it let granny earn a dollar and let her suck me off topless for a laugh,BJ was nothing special ,but the protection was .it was a surgical glove :) yes a glove for f**k sake, this place is long gone thank God :)
Click to expand...
Well they do call frangers Love gloves dont they

That's a good story by the way retnub
 
Trickortreat

Trickortreat

Gold Member
Points
0
retnub said:
had a massage in a new massage shop in joondalup about a year ago it was ok massage,but the girl at front desk was not bad but got some granny 50 plus i reckon anyway got the massage ,was asked for extras so thought whats on offer from granny haha :) she offered HJ, Topless ,Bj so i thought f**k it let granny earn a dollar and let her suck me off topless for a laugh,BJ was nothing special ,but the protection was .it was a surgical glove :) yes a glove for f**k sake, this place is long gone thank God :)
Click to expand...
Did you check what finger she was up to?
 
ProfD

ProfD

Gold Member
Points
0
Nato79 said:
I decided to take a punt from BP so made the booking the day before i flew in and asked the normal are the pics true are you 25 etc etc with the same tetort of course baby...
So plane lands head to address no one there... hmmmm so i call. She says I am running late be there soon booking was for 11.... 11.15 comes around and i see a car pulling into side entrance. Sweet its on... a lady answers the door asian lady my guess chinese with black hair and grey streaaks running through it, so sorry so sorry she exclaims.... please come in. So she leads me to a room and says would you like shower? I ask where is the girl? She moves her hands over her body and gives me a XXXX. Well f**k me i nearly fainted... I started to laugh... she did not seem happy with tjis at all. So i pull out my phone with the screen shot of the ad and ask her is this you? She still says yes si i ask hiw old are you? She replies 30... I laughed again (she looked more like a hard 45) and started to walk out. She says but wait baby i make you happy... i said no thanks and kept walking to the door. As im funbling with the soor she reaches around and grabs my cock... im shocked she started kissing me on the neck I turned around and all she had on was a g string. In that instant she tried undoing my pants.... i pushed her hands away and got that f**king doir unlocked and i was gonesky.... i have not been back to a BP fs since...
Click to expand...

I'm trying to imagine how you'd frame the Consumer Affairs' complaint for false and misleading advertising...
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
0
So why do men take there son (boys) and turn them into so called "men"by taking them to a parlor for an 18th birthday present, but mother's dont feel the need to turn there girls into Women....... Why is it that men keep on handing the same BullSh!t onto the next generation.........

Men take sons to brothels ..... Mothers give more useful gifts:

tumblr_o9b648T48j1uxemmyo1_1280.jpg
 
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Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
ProfD said:
So was this a funny "ha-ha" moment or a funny "weird" moment for you? What was the Haven like?
Click to expand...
Actually the drive from Chapman Valley to Guilford was the nervous /weird part The nerves vs anticipation
But I don't think funny is quite the right word
From what I remember the Happy Haven was the most luxurious parlour to ever grace Perth. NOT!!
 
Happy2

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
Phoebe said:
So why do men take there son (boys) and turn them into so called "men"by taking them to a parlor for an 18th birthday present, but mother's dont feel the need to turn there girls into Women....... Why is it that men keep on handing the same BullSh!t onto the next generation.........

Men take sons to brothels ..... Mothers give more useful gifts:

tumblr_o9b648T48j1uxemmyo1_1280.jpg
Click to expand...
Well I would have been far more worried if my Dad took me to a shoe or lingerie store for my birthday rather than the Happy Haven
 
Phoebe

Phoebe

Some Village lost an Idiot!
Legend Member
Points
0
Happy2 said:
Well I would have been far more worried if my Dad took me to a shoe or lingerie store for my birthday rather than the Happy Haven
Click to expand...

You know what I mean ....... Mums dont take daughters on the 18th to have sex with men do they? Women know that they can get sex for gratis, and will do for the entire life, however a man hookers could be his only avenue for sex... :)
 
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