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Sex Jokes & Cartoons... to amuse us !

Discussion in 'Chit Chat,Gossip & Humor Forum' started by DDxoxo, Aug 5, 2014.

  1. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!"

    The old man says "I'll have the soup."

    :kiss:
     
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  2. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    Three nuns, Sister Mary, Sister Agnes and Sister Constance were off to confession. Sister Mary told the other two that she was going to have to confess a sexual transgression: that she had broken her vow of celibacy by giving a hand-job to several men in town because she wanted to experience something of what sex was like.

    So Sister Mary went into the confessional and told Father Theodore her confession. After coming out of the confessional the other two nuns asked Mary what penance she was given by Father Theodore for giving out the hand-jobs.

    "He told me that I had to say 12 Hail Mary's and 12 Our Fathers and to wash my hands in the holy water font in the church."

    Sister Constance responded: "Well, I'm out of here."

    "Why are you leaving?" Sister Mary asked.

    "Because there's no way in HELL I'm going to gargle with that holy water after Sister Agnes washes her ass in it."

    ;)
     
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  3. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    [​IMG] Capture.PNG

    No matter what we do - seems it is all about sizing lol
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  4. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    download.jpg ----------------------------------------------
     
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  5. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    [​IMG]
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
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  6. Octavia Kiss

    Octavia Kiss Silver Member

    Posts:
    32
    91044BEF-7E2D-429F-BB55-4E9ADDB3BE7B.jpeg Hello this thread is funny!! Great way of passing time I’ve just found this on Facebook sorry if it’s already been loaded up.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2019
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  7. Tania

    Tania Administrator And Safe Sex Advocate Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    5,617
    Ha ha ha ha ha
    FB_IMG_1551907733147.jpg
     
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  8. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    [​IMG]
    _______________________________________________________________________
     
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  9. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    sx2.jpg
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
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  10. Phoebe

    Phoebe Legend Member

    Posts:
    4,834
    1. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.
     
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  11. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?

    Castrated.
     
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  12. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
    A: After five years your job still sucks.
     
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  13. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    I love it - classic
     
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  14. Phoebe

    Phoebe Legend Member

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    4,834
    Not if she is not your wife but someone else's !!
     
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  15. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    Q: What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
    A: Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.

    Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
    A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

    Q: What did the letter O say to Q?
    A: Dude, your junk is hanging out.

    Q: How do you know you have a high sperm count?
    A: Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

    Q: What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
    A: One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
     
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  16. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    download.jpg

    Well, well well x
     
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  17. bepp

    bepp Feelthy old bugga Legend Member

    Posts:
    4,386
  18. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?


    A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
     
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  19. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    How embarrassed would one be ...lol [​IMG]
     
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  20. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    qaex-24-funny-sex-images-to-get-your-butt-sliding-around-your-chair-image-23-2225282993.jpg
    ........................................................................................................................
     
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  21. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
     
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  22. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    Funny_b4c6ae_5866895.jpg
    Can't beat that level of satisfaction ;)
     
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  23. jerry hattrick

    jerry hattrick Silver Member

    Posts:
    133
    [​IMG]Oh for the lotto life
     
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  24. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    [​IMG]

    Weather tonight at Langtrees :D
     
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  25. Becky

    Becky Langtrees Darwin Reception Silver Member

    Posts:
    80
    a75765ed99cd987a5d76d2a927736381.jpg
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
     
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  26. Kim2323

    Kim2323 Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Moderator

    Posts:
    146
    Serious - who would want to see that !

    23-what-the-fuck-is-that-meme.jpg
     
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  27. Coralin767

    Coralin767 Bronze Member

    Posts:
    2
    Sexual playing myself what are you waiting for just hit my username on kik and we can having fun just follow me on kik and ill responce here my kik username ... Coralin767
     
  28. Anita Ash

    Anita Ash Silver Member

    Posts:
    7
    The first time I'm flattered, by the third or fourth time someone tries to give me their phone number or tell me they want to take me on a "real date" I'm pretty much over it and I just want the booking to end. I always aim to make my guests feel appreciated and respected but there are still boundaries.
    Screenshot_2019-03-23-14-54-46-70.png
     
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  29. happypirate

    happypirate Old pirate Staff Member Forum Manager

    Posts:
    8,330
    Ahoy;- Yeeeeeee Gotto Luv the......... CAM-Girl`s.........
    You can follow meeeeeeee, by sending me RUM bottles.
    Have fun in all you do.
     
  30. Jaimi

    Jaimi Langtrees Darwin Reception Staff Member Silver Member

    Posts:
    103
    [​IMG]
    _________________________________________________________________________________
     
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