Man Put On Sexual Predators List For Having Sex With Tractors

[Tania Admin]

A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders’ register. (Which I think is just Silly)


Ralph Bishop, 53, was found by police with his trousers around his ankles “interfering” with a tractor parked in a field outside Saxmundham.



He was arrested on suspicion of outraging public decency, and admitted to having had sex with around 450 tractors all over the Suffolk countryside.

When officers searched his terraced home they found a collection of more than 5,000 tractor images on his laptop.

The photos showed Bishop had a special desire for John Deere and Massey Ferguson tractors, particularly green ones.



Source: http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/suffolk-man-sex-with-tractors/

 

[Happy2]

And Just what is wrong with this I wonder ??

It gets lonely out here sometimes And the sheep arent the pushovers everybody seems to think

But get your timing right If you have been out with your love in the fields for an hour or so That exhaust pipe gets bloody hot

 

[Tania Admin]

And Just what is wrong with this I wonder ??

It gets lonely out here sometimes And the sheep arent the pushovers everybody seems to think

But get your timing right If you have been out with your love in the fields for an hour or so That exhaust pipe gets bloody hot

So sorry, but when I posted this article, I could not get the mental picture of your profile pic out of my head..

 

[Happy2]

Farmwife in house next door
Mmmm I smell over cooked manmeat
H2 is humping the exhaust while it's to hot again
I'll go get the icepack

 

[JustMe]

I thought it be you that the be worried about farmwife 's husband coming over to hump you H2. After all, aren't you that bouncy little tractor that can type.

 

[Happy2]

I thought it be you that the be worried about farmwife 's husband coming over to hump you H2. After all, aren't you that bouncy little tractor that can type.

Nah we are ALL family up here
And we look after family

 

[Jaylily]

I find this the funniest thing ever, only in UK or USA this could happen.

 

[Farm Boy 2]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not with a Fergy

 

[Digidestined123]

Well then...

 

[David15]

I know my way around a Fergy (tractor not princess) but danged if I can think of what I'd be able to stick it into...
Ok there is removing the PTO if possible, but there are gears in there, and you'd want it running for extra vibration I guess but a tad risky.....
A radiator hose?

Where else can he put it?

 

[Tania Admin]

I know my way around a Fergy (tractor not princess) but danged if I can think of what I'd be able to stick it into...
Ok there is removing the PTO if possible, but there are gears in there, and you'd want it running for extra vibration I guess but a tad risky.....
A radiator hose?

Where else can he put it?

Exhaust maybe? lol

 

[Happy2]

Our new friend David15 is right Tania it is nigh on impossible
You cant get on your knees and hump a tractor exhaust Think of a snorkel on a Landcruiser 4WD
He would have to be lowered from a sexswing or harness while the tractor is parked under the gumtree out the back

Excuse me There's something I have to do

 

[Tania Admin]

Where there's a will there's always a way.......

 

[magrov]

I dated a tractor once, but the sex was mechanical

 

[Happy2]

Where there's a will there's always a way.......

Isn't the old line
Where there's a will. There's a relative or a charity waiting for a hand out

I dated a tractor once, but the sex was mechanical

Mods If I may make a suggestion?
I think a emoji entitled Grooooan or O Jeez should be considered

 

[magrov]

Isn't the old line
Where there's a will. There's a relative or a charity waiting for a hand out

Mods If I may make a suggestion?
I think a emoji entitled Grooooan or O Jeez should be considered

she did let me stick it in her exhaust hole though

 

[magrov]

She always wanted to plow my field

 

[Tania Admin]

Isn't the old line
Where there's a will. There's a relative or a charity waiting for a hand out

Mods If I may make a suggestion?
I think a emoji entitled Grooooan or O Jeez should be considered

Such a great idea that I created a POLL. Enough YES votes and I'm sure the Powers That Be can be persuaded

She always wanted to plow my field

A Groan here would be perfect...

 

[Happy2]

Such a great idea that I created a POLL. Enough YES votes and I'm sure the Powers That Be can be persuaded

Noooooo!! I will be O Jeezed out of existence

 

[HappyPirate]

Ahoy;- Yeap, I would agree with that statement.

Noooooo!! I will be O Jeezed out of existence

 

[Happy2]

Ahoy;- Yeap, I would agree with that statement.

Start a thread that lasts longer than 5 posts and I will listen to you
Oh Yeap I will

 

[Amanda Secrets]

Start a thread that lasts longer than 5 posts and I will listen to you
Oh Yeap I will

I love the idea of a groooaan / O Jeez icon!! I know just where to use it too

 

[Happy2]

I love the idea of a groooaan / O Jeez icon!! I know just where to use it too

That sounds rather lewd Amanda
Plus I feel your sense of humour is nearly as bad as mine
Wonder who will be O jeezed first

 

[Nateeee]

I tried having sex with a moving tractor once. Let's just say I got too tyred to finish.

 

[Happy2]

Come on Tania Hurry up with that O Jeez/ Grooan button

 

[Ella Jade]

Theres a guy that lives in America who called himself a "mechasexual" He is in love and in polyamorous relationships with 3 of his cars! He usually goes at it with the exhaust. I remember reading one of his stories about how he loves to sneak out into his driveway out the front of his house at night time and have kinky public sex with his favorite beasty! hahaha

 

[westy]

Apparently Happy2 has been predatory on the neighbours new machine. It just pulls and pulls and pulls.

 

[pause78]

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works.

He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor.

His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg.

He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost!

You can imagine he was very annoyed with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever. All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE.

Many years later, Joe went into a bar for a drink. Inside, the cigarette and cigar smoke was terrible but through it he saw a beautiful girl seated at the bar on her own. Tears were streaming down her face.

Joe asked her what was wrong and she said that the smoke was making her eyes sting and stream with tears.

With that, Joe looked around and then took a huge breath, sucking in all the smoke. He then walked outside into the car park and blew all the smoke out again. He goes back into the bar where the air is now clear and sweet and sits down next to the girl.

"That was amazing!" she said, "How did you do that?"

"No problem", said Joe...

"I'm an ex-tractor fan"

 

[Nomansland]

Groan smoking - bloody auto correct. Groan emoji definitely needed

 

[Mrs Langtrees]

Where is Happy2 I haven't seen him for a few days.