• Langtrees.com will start paid advertising on the 12th April this year. (my mothers birthday) Wallet balances will still remain if logged in the last month. Advertisers that have not logged in wallets will be reduced to zero.

Jokes of the day.....

R

Renee

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
 
R

Renee

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
 
1

1Chat

OK so its not a joke, but its going around on Facebook at the moment and it sure as hell is funny.......every time I watch it makes me cack laughing....:)
 
HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
1,076
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Weaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
 
HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
1,076
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.
 
HappyPirate

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
1,076
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet ,I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
 
billybones

billybones

Thrillseeker
Legend Member
Points
0
I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

> You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!

To which I replied:

> 8 out of 10, "I'll" requires an apostrophe and a capital "I".
 
billybones

billybones

Thrillseeker
Legend Member
Points
0
After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

..........................................He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
 
Luxi Summer

Luxi Summer

Gold Member
Points
0
Monday Humor :)
A man walked into a doctors on a Friday and asked for a double dose of Viagra. "What do you need it for??" the doctor asked."Well, my ex is coming over tonight, my girlfriend is coming over Saturday night and my wife gets home Sunday night" he replied.
On Monday the man walks back into the doctors office with his right arm in a sling.
The doctor said "What happen"
"Nobody showed up" replied the man

:) hope that's a laugh for some of you xxxx
 
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