• Langtrees.com will start paid advertising on the 12th April this year. (my mothers birthday) Wallet balances will still remain if logged in the last month. Advertisers that have not logged in wallets will be reduced to zero.

Jokes of the day.....

GraceCee

Perth Escorts
Gold Member
Points
0
lefunny.net-funny-jokes-quotes-animals-pictures-Favim.com-568759_large.jpg
 

bepp

Another World Member
Legend Member
Points
0
has anyone seen a photo showing a young lady ,TS, from behind wearing a see thru dress , with a bit xtra hanging down ...and the caption saying.................."Darling lets stay home tonight"........the rest i cant read...where can i find it?
 
R

Renee

has anyone seen a photo showing a young lady ,TS, from behind wearing a see thru dress , with a bit xtra hanging down ...and the caption saying.................."Darling lets stay home tonight"........the rest i cant read...where can i find it?
I haven't seen it but will keep an eye out for it for you :)
 
R

Renee

One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me intently and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"
 
R

Renee

:joyful: lol
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'

Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma,it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
947
"The Ultimate in Suicide Counseling – bet she changes her mind"

A woman was standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off.
A homeless drunk stopped and mumbled,
"If you're about to killyourself, how about a shag before you go?"
The woman was angry and said,
"No! Fuck off you filthy old bastard."
The tramp turned to leave and said,
"No problems, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."
 

Skatter

Bronze Member
Points
0
Wally Is In The Hospital . . . ......

Who in the hell is Wally, you ask?

Well Wally is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Wally replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking of"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Wally is in the Manly Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233
 
R

Renee

Three reasons why my wife is like a computer.

1. She’s good at remembering credit card details.
2. She knows everything about every subject.
3. She always complains about having a virus whenever you try and do anything dirty with her.
 

Tassie

Gold Member
Points
0
John approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping centre. "Excuse me, I can't seem to find my wife, would you mind talking to me for a few minutes" he asked.
Feeling compassion for the older gent the young woman said "do you know where your wife might be?"
John replied "I have no idea but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours she appears from nowhere"
image.jpg
 

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
How to prove who is man is man's best friend
Dogs or wives/girlfriends
Put your dog and your wife/girlfriend in the boot of your car drive around the city for half an hour
Get back home open the boot and see who greets you
My money is on the dog
 
R

Renee

Haha not quiet a joke but still funny when you work out your name mines Dribbling Orgasm!!!

7537_627486660651997_139580617_n.jpg
 

Skatter

Bronze Member
Points
0
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got Male!
 

HappyPirate

Old Pirate...
Legend Member
Points
947
Hot and Cold Sex

After an examination, the doctor said to his elderly patient: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'
'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly . . . and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I'm usually hot and sweaty."

When the doctor examined his elderly wife later he said, 'Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: 'Well, your husband mentioned an unusual problem. He claimed that he was usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time .. . . and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you have any idea why?'

"Oh, that crazy old bastard!!!'' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is in December.
 
R

Renee

As an aeroplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
 
Top